The Ultimate Online Diary

"Whenever I tell people about my compulsive cleaning habits, they always say the same thing: 'Wow, your apartment must be spotless!' But the truth is, my apartment is always a disaster. I spend so much time cleaning that I never have time to actually tidy up.

It's like I'm caught in this endless loop of cleaning and mess-making. I'll spend hours scrubbing the toilet, and then five minutes later, I'll spill something on the floor and have to start all over again.

And the worst part is, I'm not even sure why I'm so obsessed with cleanliness. Maybe it's because my mother was a neat freak and it's just ingrained in me. Or maybe it's because I'm secretly afraid of germs and bacteria and the idea of getting sick.

Whatever the reason, it's become a bit of a joke among my friends. They'll come over and purposely make a mess just to see how I react. And of course, I'll freak out and start cleaning like a maniac.

But I can't help it. The idea of living in a dirty, cluttered space is just too much for me to handle. So I'll keep cleaning and organizing and sanitizing, even if it means living in a perpetual state of chaos."

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Excerpt from David Sedaris diary.